Sean Ward contemplated suicide during battle with depression

Sean Ward has revealed he was driven to the brink of suicide as he battled depression, addictions to drink, drugs and pornography and the trauma of being out of work.

The former Coronation Street actor, 30, admitted he survived on two hours of sleep a night for six months, and would fall asleep ‘sobbing into a bottle of vodka’, after a vicious cycle of smoking cannabis and watching sex online.

Speaking to The Mirror, he said: ‘I nearly took my own life – I’d think about it every day. I did ­actually plan how I was going to do it but I suppose I was too scared.’ 

Brave: Sean Ward has revealed he was driven to the brink of suicide as he battled depression, addictions to drink, drugs and pornography and the trauma of being out of work

Brave: Sean Ward has revealed he was driven to the brink of suicide as he battled depression, addictions to drink, drugs and pornography and the trauma of being out of work

Brave: Sean Ward has revealed he was driven to the brink of suicide as he battled depression, addictions to drink, drugs and pornography and the trauma of being out of work

Sean said his life began to spiral out of control around a year ago, when he returned home from filming Our Girl, and was rejected from around 50 auditions- rendering him out of work for nine months.  

Hitting rock bottom, he wrote a letter alluding to his death, which was discovered by his then girlfriend. His family then staged an intervention and the actor has now been sober for three months, and believes he is finally on a path to happiness.

He said: ‘It wasn’t a suicide note but there were a few quotes in it that made her sit up and alarm bells were ringing,’ he says. ‘I had written that if people won’t celebrate me in life, then maybe they will in death.’ 

Sean, who played drug dealer Callum Logan in Coronation Street for one year from 2014, said he became a recluse and smoked ‘thousands of pounds’ worth of cannabis as his self-esteem and finances plummeted. 

Battle: The former Coronation Street actor, 30, admitted he survived on two hours of sleep a night for six months, and would fall asleep 'sobbing into a bottle of vodka', after a vicious cycle of smoking cannabis and watching sex online (pictured in 2016)

Battle: The former Coronation Street actor, 30, admitted he survived on two hours of sleep a night for six months, and would fall asleep 'sobbing into a bottle of vodka', after a vicious cycle of smoking cannabis and watching sex online (pictured in 2016)

Battle: The former Coronation Street actor, 30, admitted he survived on two hours of sleep a night for six months, and would fall asleep ‘sobbing into a bottle of vodka’, after a vicious cycle of smoking cannabis and watching sex online (pictured in 2016)

Rise to fame: The star rose to fame in Corrie in 2014, where he played villainous drug dealer Callum Logan

Rise to fame: The star rose to fame in Corrie in 2014, where he played villainous drug dealer Callum Logan

Rise to fame: The star rose to fame in Corrie in 2014, where he played villainous drug dealer Callum Logan

He said: ‘I don’t think I slept for six months – I was surviving on two hours a night. I’d drink until I fell asleep, sobbing, with a bottle of vodka.’ 

He was previously in an eight-month relationship with Corrie and Strictly star Georgia-May Foote, with the couple going their separate ways shortly after the show ended in 2015.

It was when he began dating a new girlfriend his problems reached their height.

He said he would start his day by smoking a joint and would drink to excess if he knew his girlfriend would be working away as a result of loneliness. 

Sean admitted that his addictions and battle with depression took its toll on his intimate life, saying not loving himself meant he couldn’t love his partner. 

Months of drinking and drugs took its toll on his looks, with his hair falling out as a result of alopecia and the star losing weight. To cover his hairloss, he used his mother’s mascara. 

Heartbreaking: Speaking to The Mirror , he said: 'I nearly took my own life – I'd think about it every day. I did ­actually plan how I was going to do it but I suppose I was too scared' (pictured in 2017)

Heartbreaking: Speaking to The Mirror , he said: 'I nearly took my own life – I'd think about it every day. I did ­actually plan how I was going to do it but I suppose I was too scared' (pictured in 2017)

Heartbreaking: Speaking to The Mirror , he said: ‘I nearly took my own life – I’d think about it every day. I did ­actually plan how I was going to do it but I suppose I was too scared’ (pictured in 2017)

Sean said his spiralling depression meant he could no longer do the job he loved, because he was unable to portray any characters due to a lack of emotion.   

After writing the troubling letter, Sean’s girlfriend and mother Deborah, 49, intervened and he sought medical help.

He was diagnosed with mild ADHD and prescribed anti-depressants which made him realise he needed to beat his addictions. He went ‘cold-turkey’ and got off social media. 

Sean split from his partner in September because he needed to ‘be on his own’ to work on himself. 

Speaking about his rise to fame on Corrie and then Our Girl, Sean said he was plagued by loneliness.

He chose to speak openly about his depression and addictions in a candid Instagram video earlier this month as he wanted to show people that he ‘struggles too.’

Sean said he had been overwhelmed by the support he has received, as well as other people admitting their addictions to porn. 

 The star now feels stronger than ever before and is ready to get back into acting, in particular theatre work.

He has been working on the set of drama Peaky Blinders, making tea and organising the extras as he eases himself back into work. He said being on-set had reignited his passion for acting.             

The interview comes a day after the actor  spoke about his addiction battle during a candid chat on Thursday’s episode of Loose Women.

The actor bravely opened up about his depression and his determination to give up alcohol, cannabis and porn to combat the condition, after previously revealing all in a hard-hitting Instagram video posted on Sunday.

The actor revealed that his addictions and mental health had caused physical ailments such as his hair falling out and weight loss.  

Speaking out: The interview comes a day after the actor spoke about his addiction battle during a candid chat on Thursday's episode of Loose Women

Speaking out: The interview comes a day after the actor spoke about his addiction battle during a candid chat on Thursday's episode of Loose Women

Speaking out: The interview comes a day after the actor spoke about his addiction battle during a candid chat on Thursday’s episode of Loose Women

Speaking about the height of his depression, Sean admitted to Loose Women it stemmed from loneliness when he spent seven months away from home filming BBC drama Our Girl, which he has starred in since 2014, last year.

‘I was away from my partner, my family, you get lonely you realise who your friends are,’ he admitted, revealing he started secretly watching porn on set.

The actor also admitted that as he grew more famous he felt more lonely, explaining: ‘You do get lonely and realise who your friend are. That’s when it all unravelled at that point. The more people I met when I got in Corrie the lonelier I felt.’

Honest: The actor opened up about his determination to give up alcohol, cannabis and porn to combat the condition, after previously revealing all in an Instagram video posted on Sunday

Honest: The actor opened up about his determination to give up alcohol, cannabis and porn to combat the condition, after previously revealing all in an Instagram video posted on Sunday

Honest: The actor opened up about his determination to give up alcohol, cannabis and porn to combat the condition, after previously revealing all in an Instagram video posted on Sunday

He added that he realised both who his true friends were and the extent of his problems during one night with pals.   

‘I had friends come up from London, it was who you spend time with. All they did was bring vodka to my house, so I lost it and said get out.’

When asked if his addictions had always been there or as a result of being on Corrie, he said: ‘Half and half. I think any creative in this industry has ups and downs. 

‘I was living next door to Justin Bieber in South Africa one minute and living in Westbury another minute.’ 

Loneliness: Speaking about the height of his depression, Sean admitted to Loose Women it stemmed from loneliness when he spent months away from home filming Our Girl last year

Loneliness: Speaking about the height of his depression, Sean admitted to Loose Women it stemmed from loneliness when he spent months away from home filming Our Girl last year

Loneliness: Speaking about the height of his depression, Sean admitted to Loose Women it stemmed from loneliness when he spent months away from home filming Our Girl last year

‘It was a massive shift in my consciousness, when I can’t continue on this path, I didn’t want to start on anti-depressants, I was offered them, but I think I had to look inside to see what I was filling this void with.’

Revealing his addictions affected his relationship, Sean continued: ‘I had to leave the relationship I was in, I wasn’t looking after my ex’s needs which was one thing I realised.’ 

He started experiencing physical effects too, explaining: I started getting alopecia and had no actual energy, I started losing weight. If somebody is at home feeling depressed and you have to trick your mind, and you just have to say I love myself. 

Fame game: The actor also admitted that as he grew more famous he felt more lonely, explaining: 'You do get lonely and realise who your friend are'

Fame game: The actor also admitted that as he grew more famous he felt more lonely, explaining: 'You do get lonely and realise who your friend are'

Fame game: The actor also admitted that as he grew more famous he felt more lonely, explaining: ‘You do get lonely and realise who your friend are’

Villain: Sean's Corrie character, drug dealer Callum Logan was first introduced in 2014, but was killed by Kylie Platt the following year

Villain: Sean's Corrie character, drug dealer Callum Logan was first introduced in 2014, but was killed by Kylie Platt the following year

Villain: Sean’s Corrie character, drug dealer Callum Logan was first introduced in 2014, but was killed by Kylie Platt the following year

Hair loss: He started experiencing physical effects too, explaining: I started getting alopecia and had no actual energy, I started losing weight'

Hair loss: He started experiencing physical effects too, explaining: I started getting alopecia and had no actual energy, I started losing weight'

Hair loss: He started experiencing physical effects too, explaining: I started getting alopecia and had no actual energy, I started losing weight’

He added he has a nifty trick to disguise the bald patches in his facial hair – using his mum’s mascara to colour it in. 

Sean has dug deep to get to the root of his problems, admitting one major factor was the lack of progression in his career, pointing out ‘I wasn’t getting any work, I did 50 auditions last year and didn’t get one job, I was becoming bitter.’

‘For starters, finding out what my addictions were, and finding out where I was going wrong and you have to admit to yourself you are on a bad path. Before you take something like an anti-depressant, you should at least try and battle.’ 

For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch or click here for details. 

Single: Revealing his addictions affected his relationship, Sean continued: 'I had to leave the relationship I was in, I wasn't looking after my ex's needs'

Single: Revealing his addictions affected his relationship, Sean continued: 'I had to leave the relationship I was in, I wasn't looking after my ex's needs'

Single: Revealing his addictions affected his relationship, Sean continued: ‘I had to leave the relationship I was in, I wasn’t looking after my ex’s needs’

Former flame: Sean was previously in a relationship with actress Georgia May-Foote, with the pair splitting after she appeared on the 2015 series of Strictly Come Dancing

Former flame: Sean was previously in a relationship with actress Georgia May-Foote, with the pair splitting after she appeared on the 2015 series of Strictly Come Dancing

Former flame: Sean was previously in a relationship with actress Georgia May-Foote, with the pair splitting after she appeared on the 2015 series of Strictly Come Dancing

 

 

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